Tips From a Sexology and Psychology Expert

05 March 2019

Tips From a Sexology and Psychology Expert


by Christa Coetzee


3 Top Tips Regarding Sexology /Psychology

1.1. You are not the only one with sexual concerns / questions. People are just shy / feel embarrassed to talk about sexual problems / concerns.

1.2. Acknowledging that your concern / problem is stealing your joy, is the most powerful first step you can take to addressing it positively.

1.3. Stopping to look for the someone or something to blame places you in the power position as you are the only one that can make choices, or change behaviour that will change your life.


3 Common Misconceptions Regarding Sexology / Psychology

2.1. People tend to think you are “mad” or are “dysfunctional” if you seek professional help. What they do not realise is that if something negatively impacts your life; you need to take action to address it otherwise it will just get worse. – Take responsibility in getting it solved!

2.2. Medication is the answer to all sex / psychological problems. In actual fact it is the human choices; behaviour and thought patterns that play the biggest role in the concerns we experience.

2.3. The Sexologist / Psychologist must fix you – The Sexologist / Psychologist is the mediator to guide you in understanding your concerns and assisting you to explore ways and establish skills to implement change in your own life. You are the fixer!


What You don’t know about Sexology / Psychology but should!

3.1. Sexology is the scientific study of human sexuality, including human sexual interests, behaviors and functions.

3.2. Psychology is the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behaviour in a given context.

3.3. Psycho-Sexual Sexologist is a professional that is qualified in the scientific field of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behaviour in a sexual context.


A Short Beginners Introduction to Sexology / Psychology

1 in 4 people are not happy with their sex-life. There is still a big stigma to talk to a stranger about psychological / emotional difficulties and so much more talking about sexual problems. Many people find it embarrassing. Many think that we must be able to sort it out by ourselves and therefore leave it for way too long. The reality is that the satisfactory level of assistance to deal with sexual concerns are high.

The Sexologist / Psychologist provides a safe space where the individual / couple can express and explore all aspects that contribute / could have contributed to the current life distress. The process allows the individual / couple the opportunity to identify and implement alternative behaviour strategies in daily life to promote “healing” on all levels.

“the shoe that fits one-person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases” – Carl Jung

The value of Sexology / Psychology is that the Professional provides the safe space for the individuals / couples to find “their own set of shoes that fit them”.


Top 3 Things I’ve Learned Over The Years Working as a Sexologist / Psychologists

5.1. It takes two to tango – The sexual concerns in a relationship is a relationship concern and needs to be dealt with as a couple. With both parties involved in the discussion it assists the partner to develop a true understanding of one another’s emotions and concerns. Team effort and team goals!

5.2. It is not about who is right and who is wrong – It is about how we can meet one another in a way that accommodate both needs.

5.3. Good sex starts with Good morning. It is how we make our partner feel that sets the tone for closeness and accommodating my partner’s needs.


3 Most Popular Things My Clients Ask Me

6.1. Is there hope for me/us?

6.2. Is there a pill I can drink to help me to want sex as often as my partner?

6.3. Is there a pill I can drink to help me to want as little sex as my partner?


Why My Clients Come to Me

7.1. My clients feel that I have a sincere understanding of both partner’s sides.

7.2. My clients experience that I listen to them and explore with them avenues that will work for their individual lives.

7.3. My clients appreciate my honesty and at times directive approach; as they already feel overwhelmed and need immediate guidance and do not have the time or money for years of therapeutic processes.


Top 3 Ways Online Consultations Will Help My Clients

Greater Access to Professional Assistance

8.1. Clients are often far from available. On-line Consultations immediately bring the professional help within reach;

8.2. The Client is in the safety of their own home and getting help does not have to impact their work hours; travel time to the appointment is eliminated and no need for “baby-sitters” as you are at home;

8.3. Cost effective – just the fee for the consultation and no added travel expenses.


About the Author


Christa Coetzee is a practicing Psychologist and Sexologist that completed her masters’ degree in Educational Psychology and her pre-graduate studies in Social Work and is an accredited EFS/ESSM Certified Psycho-Sexologist (ECPS). I am in private practice (since 1997) and often engages in public speaking activities covering sexual health concern topics. I have years of experience working with individuals as well as couples of all different life styles and sexual orientations.


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